


All Acting

by UM1



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Acting, Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkwardness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Excessive grass jokes, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Internal Conflict, M/M, Seduction, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Theatre, but a lot of love, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27597541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UM1/pseuds/UM1
Summary: As a former theatre kid, Hwanwoong wants to relive the feeling of being on stage while in his college years, so he found his way into the drama club, thanks to Youngjo, who is wrongly famed for being a fuckboy. However, they are faced with the challenge of a new play, all about the layers of love, the tension between both of them growing bigger and bigger, as they break boundaries with each rehearsal.What could result from this? That's what their roommates are too trying to figure out.
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Son Dongju | Xion, Kim Youngjo | Ravn/Yeo Hwanwoong
Comments: 7
Kudos: 46





	1. Attraction

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to another story! I hope you have a great time!
> 
> [TMI: This is actually based on an incomplete work I posted for another fandom, but I like this one way better!]

It was what seemed like another day like the others. At lunch time, the students chose their favourite sites of the campus, either the loud comfort of the cafeteria, a quiet corner at the seats of the boring halls, or the reused wood tables under the trees which surrounded the botanical garden. The latter was Keonhee’s, Dongju’s and Hwanwoong’s usual spot, as it’s far from noise and close to clean air. Except during allergies season. At those times, even an empty classroom could do for a picnic.

The only thing that turned that lunch break unusual, was the fact that Hwanwoong suddenly stood up from his seat and joined the table under the tree next to theirs, where Dongju’s boyfriend, Geonhak, normally sits with his own group of friends

“What does Woong want from a theatre kid?”, Dongju asked Keonhee while frowning, referring to Youngjo, Geonhak’s friend, to whom Hwanwoong was talking to.

“Weren’t you a theatre kid before, though?”, Keonhee asked, also curious about why Hwanwoong decided to go talk to _the Kim Youngjo_ out of the blue.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t the biggest playboy of the drama club”, the other replied, sipping on his juice, looking sideways at the so called playboy.

“But Woong mentioned he wanted to try acting this semester, didn’t he?”, Keonhee remembered, already knowing very well the image that Youngjo was known for, not needing a whole power point presentation about why the guy wasn’t trustworthy, despite the fact he always had lunch on the neighbouring table and was Geonhak’s brother from another mother.

“But, from all the people in the club, he had to ask _him_? Has he even seen his Instagram posts?”, Dongju asked away, picking up his phone to check if Hwanwoong followed him, which he did. That idiot.

“Yeah, those cringe videos he does, showing off as if he was a Greek sculpture… I know. But you gotta have self-confidence, I guess… Oh! These damned grasshoppers getting in my lunch! Almost look like Woongie hopping from table to table, am I right, sir?”, Keonhee said, changing the subject immediately as soon as Hwanwoong showed up. There was no grasshopper though, otherwise, the two friends would have screamed already.

“What? I can’t leave you toddlers alone for two seconds and you start eating bugs?”, Hwanwoong said, sitting back by Keonhee’s side, cleaning up his empty lunch box.

“Not even I leave you two to go have lunch with my boyfriend, and you go talk to… that guy?”, Dongju complained. As if he wouldn’t cuddle with Geonhak every single day, right after he finished eating.

“It was just 5 minutes, jeez! And what’s the problem with Youngjo? Does he steal your boyfriend from you that much?”, Hwanwoong replied, laughing at Dongju’s upset face after his words. “It just happened he’s the only guy from the drama club I know of, so he’s the only one I could ask about joining.”

“So you’re joining, then?”, Keonhee asked.

“I’ll try a rehearsal later today. Let’s see if my skills aren’t too rusty”, he said. It had been years since Hwanwoong picked up a script or stepped on a stage.

Dongju looked again at Youngjo. The popular guy was having his usual goofy conversations with Geonhak and Seoho, during the only time when he was free of constantly having eyes glued on him. Dongju pondered whether he was letting the known unpleasant image of Youngjo’s blur the honest easy-going personality that Geonhak usually describes. It might be that the theatre guy wasn’t who he seemed to be… but those posts… nah. Red flags.

Looking back at Hwanwoong, he noticed he was too staring at Youngjo with some sort of fondness on his eyes, instead of his typical bored gaze. Even the corners of his mouth were slightly going up whenever the theatre kid laughed at his friends.

_Brush it off, Dongju! You’re thinking too much about a fuckboy who doesn’t need your attention!_

On the other table, the conversation was too about their lunch break neighbours.

“I would only like to know how you manage to make the people you’re into talk to you without you asking”, Geonhak said, focusing on stealing Seoho’s chips, who was distracted with his homework he had to hand in on the next class.

“Hey, I didn’t say I was into him”, Youngjo corrected, but recognizing he was, yet again, too transparent when it came to having a crush on someone, as small as it could be. Or, perhaps, Geonhak just knew him so well, he developed 20/20 laser-like vision that could quickly read him, no matter how much he tried to hide the truth. Youngjo thought he was careful enough to keep a secret to himself.

“You know, even Dongju is staring at you like he wants to choke slam you. You’re a terrible liar”, his friend said, pointing at Dongju, who turned his gaze away when he noticed Geonhak looking.

Youngjo was not careful enough to keep a secret to himself.

“Anyways, I’m no one but a nice hyung who likes to help the others. I just hope he decides to join the club”, he said, looking at Hwanwoong again, their eyes meeting for an awkward split second. His ears started to blush, so Youngjo pulled his beanie a little lower to hide them.

“If you don’t scare him off first, that is”, Seoho said, suddenly joining mid-conversation, closing his book triumphantly, after sloppily finishing his tasks last minute.

☆

Being at campus at night was a totally different experience. The cold night air brought a whole new atmosphere, just like the lights from buildings and cars after rush hour which filled the landscape with little stars, brighter than those above. Basically, the only noise around that hour, was the flickering streetlight at the side of the stairs Hwanwoong was sitting on, waiting for Youngjo to arrive, his only company for now being his playlist. He felt like he could get used to that.

Suddenly, Hwanwoong heard someone humming the song he was listening to. It was Youngjo, who arrived unnoticed, offering his hand to help the dongsaeng get up. Hwanwoong looked at him, surprised that he knew the rapper he was listening to.

“I see we have similar tastes in music”, Youngjo said, not helping but to notice Hwanwoong’s loose outfit he advised him to bring: loose dark blue training pants and a white t-shirt with the warmest plaid jacket Woong owned on top. The outfit made no sense, but the nights were only getting colder, and anything worked for uni as long as he wasn’t walking around naked. Youngjo found it funny, though. Not only they liked the same music, their outfits were very similar on that night. His was basically the same as Hwanwoong’s, except he opted for black, but, of course, bringing one of his signature flannel shirts and his scribbled denim jacket.

“This is one of my favourite albums”, Hwanwoong said, accepting Youngjo’s helping hand and taking off his earphones. “But I’m still wondering what you meant with being ready for anything. Just making sure I’m not joining a forbidden cult baited by the most popular guy of our institute.”

Youngjo laughed at that comment. He was sort of tired of being called the popular guy, since it only brought bad impressions and trust issues. But he wanted to trust Hwanwoong and change the perspective he had of him, so he relied on his light-heartedness.

“I only said that because the play we’re rehearsing is quite tough. Probably not the best for a first rehearsal”, Youngjo explained.

“What is it about?”, the other asked.

The oldest hesitated in putting it into words. “It’s about love in all its different layers, from platonic to sexual. We’re currently trying to get the feel of it, searching for those feelings within us, so… You’ll probably have to do some things you’re not comfortable with, that’s what I’m trying to say”, Youngjo attempted to clarify, trying to not make it sound bizarre.

“So, we basically have to look for our inner seducer?”, Hwanwoong joked, understanding what Youngjo meant, since he already had some experience in acting, although doing it as a kid was completely different.

“Well… if you want to put it that way”, he replied while laughing. Youngjo found Hwanwoong to be way more laidback than expected, so he could feel his own shyness slowly backing down.

“No assigned roles yet, then?”, Hwanwoong asked.

“Nope.”

“Then be careful to not fall for my killer moves”, Hwanwoong said, making both laugh but regretting the phrase immediately. That was too straightforward… why did he always act like that around cute guys? Was it because he internally thought Youngjo would say something like that?

“Is that so? Let’s see if I’ll have to show you how it’s done”, Youngjo replied, right as they were done walking up all the stairways and got to the door to the drama clubroom.

When they entered, there were already some people sitting on the floor, talking or just relaxing after whatever type of day each of them went through. Youngjo quickly introduced Hwanwoong to the teacher in the corner, who was rearranging the clothing rack. Despite the severe eyes, everyone was very welcoming and made the visitor feel comfortable.

To Hwanwoong’s surprise, though, no one else was phased by Youngjo, contrary to what he would witness on the corridors on a usual day. That was one sign that confirmed that the well-known theatre kid was the cliché type to be popular for his looks, but was actually somewhat of an introvert who just wanted to enjoy his own peace.

Shortly after some chitchat, at the sign of the teacher, they all sat on the floor, listening to some atmospheric piano music. All the members of the club seemed to relax suddenly and laid on the floor. Hwanwoong followed. From what he could understand, it was time to warm up the mind of an actor with some cooling down from reality.

The teacher turned off the lights and joined them too. The only light that could be seen was that of the streetlights outside, including the distracting flickering one, creating shadows of the trees on the walls of the room. As the actors heard the deep continuous sounds of the music, it seemed like space was shrinking around them. The world outside was completely shut off, worries were cancelled, the pattern of another day like the others was forgotten, and their thoughts could be heard in their minds at maximum volume. The harmonious things in life were up for them to create in that dark room that suddenly looked so empty, since everyone was laying on the floor. Still, it was packed with creative possibilities.

It seemed like those moments were taking a bit too long for Hwanwoong, who didn’t know what exactly to think of with his eyes closed. If they were supposed to think of anything at all, that is. But he heard someone get up. However, no one else moved, so the new boy resisted the temptation to open his eyes. He instead relied on his hearing and obeyed the teacher’s orders, guiding them in some breathing exercises.

It was sort of fascinating how there were so many people in the same room, yet there was almost no noise at all, except for their breathing. Hwanwoong wondered if there was noise in their heads instead, just like the intermittent flickering of the annoying streetlight that is taking way too long to be fixed. He wondered what Youngjo was thinking about at that moment.

“Up”, the teacher said, and everybody got up very slowly. Inexperienced, Hwanwoong ended up getting up a little too early. The mistake was sort of embarrassing, but he tried to watch how Youngjo was doing it so he could learn how to do it properly.

The oldest had already turned to one side, and his hair, which was a little overgrown, was covering his intense eyes, making his expression more vulnerable. Every muscle of his body was working in order to feel every movement and make the simple act of getting up on his feet one of the most delicate things Hwanwoong had ever witnessed.

It was beautiful watching all the people, barely recognizable in the darkness, growing upwards like blooming flowers out of the surrounding darkness, as the music picked them up. The last thing Youngjo raised was his head, lazily, making his hairs slide away from his eyes one by one. Hwanwoong was only able to witness that hypnotizing show because he rushed and made a mistake.

He was strangely glad to have seen Youngjo that way.

“Now dance.” Everybody followed the order and started moving their arms in natural, improvised movements, fuelled solely by the music that was building up. Most of the actors also used the rest of their bodies to converse with their inner thoughts. Ones more expressive than the others, grabbing their own clothes and even touching their skin, as they moved up and down in fluid moves.

Youngjo would mostly run his hands on his own hair, or make suave hand movements, sometimes moving his body fast, looking like he was losing balance. He was one of those who tended to touch his skin a lot, especially when he’d move his hands from his legs upwards. Then, he’d slide his hand under his t-shirt and feel the skin under it. Hwanwoong was astonished and hypnotized at the depth those rehearsals had. That was definitely not the Kim Youngjo he heard about.

Hwanwoong was trying to mimic the other’s movements, not recalling doing this type of thing in a rehearsal before. It was okay to be awkwardly out of practise, though, since everyone else had their eyes closed. As he should have too. “Am I supposed to be thinking about something specific?”, “In which direction do I move my arms?”, “Am I really letting myself go?”, “Do I look ridiculous right now?”, he was asking himself.

“Don’t think. Just do as your body tells you to. It reacts naturally”, the teacher whispered to Hwanwoong, having noticed him struggle. “Please keep your eyes closed as long as you can.”

“Now interact”, the teacher ordered out loud to everyone.

Hwanwoong wasn’t expecting something of that sort so suddenly, with no roles or lines assigned. He wasn’t sure what type of interaction he should aim for, so, again, he tried to learn from the others first.

There were absolutely no words coming out of their mouths. The actors only approached each other and formed pairs, sometimes trios. Hwanwoong backed away and watched the pair in front of him. They both started the silent conversation effortlessly: they got very close, almost in a hug, and explored each other’s skin on the arms, back, and mostly on their faces. Either carefully pampering their hair or getting it all tangled up, letting the eyes investigate each other’s facial features, like each individual was a piece of art.

Other groups were almost sitting on the floor, taking movement even further. The intensity of the interactions really depended on what was going on inside each soul and the mix that resulted from each pair.

To an outsider’s eye, that type of practise would seem truly bizarre, but Hwanwoong and every other actor knew there were no other intentions in those interactions. They were merely living beings in their rawest state connecting and synchronizing. The touches they shared on each other’s skin were pure, as if they were understanding the feelings of torment, peace, or even warmth. It was the deepest bond of all. Blind and deaf, only with the smell of sweat from the previous exercises, linked by the power of the same soundtrack playing on loop.

As if they all had the same taste in music and were listening to one of their favourite albums, their bodies were all guided through the soundwaves, as soon as they got to their eardrums. Sometimes, eyes would open and communicate in soft notes of a piano, guiding the hands over the other’s eyebrows. Other times, the strength of a cello would pull bodies together almost violently and turn them around in a macabre dance.

Hwanwoong was frozen, somewhat scared with so many touchy interactions. But, since he was there, he wanted to try that ecstasy. Somehow, that feeling felt just right and he had butterflies in his stomach from wanting to be a part of that. It was the transcendental sensation of being on stage that he craved and that made him come all the way there on that day.

Eventually, the pairs were being switched, and so Hwanwoong found his first partner. The counterpart began slowly, landing their hand on Hwanwoong’s and letting it slide up to his shoulder. Hwanwoong found confidence and let his own hands travel too, touching the other’s neck and face, to begin with. He felt anxious when their bodies got closer, eventually hugging, but his fear was fading away as the counterparts changed. The next pair was rougher, putting their hand on Hwanwoong’s chest right away and moving expressively, with no moderation for a newbie whatsoever.

However, despite how terrifying all of this experience could’ve turned out to be, after all, Hwanwoong had some sort of a gift to be able to let himself forget about all that he is, offering his personality for a role he didn’t play in reality. It’s what some would say being born to be on stage. Youngjo was worried that Hwanwoong wouldn’t be able to adapt to that feeling, like he struggled to, but he was selflessly relieved to see him moving swiftly, from the corner of his eye.

The new actor understood it. The vulnerability it took. To let oneself be touched softly or harshly while letting the heart be exposed out of the protective ribcage. Usually, one would erase the struggles of the soul and say everything’s fine, because humans are selfish and don’t want to let people see what’s inside their hearts. They think it’s ugly. But, here, no one could see. They would even close their eyes. No one paid mind to appearance, personality or popularity. They just accepted the pair and gave needed comfort to one another.

Youngjo touched Hwanwoong’s neck from behind. He made him turn around and started playing with his hair, carefully parting it, letting his fingertips slide from his sideburns, across his jawline, as if he was drawing it. The surprise showed on Hwanwoong’s eyes, who thought he was getting in the zone until he had to interact with the only guy he knew. So, Youngjo, very aware of this first time shock, took Hwanwoong’s hand and placed it on his own cheek, motivating the younger one to draw lines just like him.

And both did, caressing each other’s features, analysing their topography like skilled geographers. The interaction was not so close, so Hwanwoong didn’t feel suffocated, yet, it was probably the hardest to breathe now. He thought it’d be probably because Youngjo would be judging him for his sloppiness. Plus, he was suddenly afraid of showing too much affection through the touches.

Because of that moment of sudden self-awareness, Youngjo got closer and whispered at Hwanwoong’s ear.

“Don’t be afraid. I’m not Youngjo and you’re not Hwanwoong. We’re mere actors.”

Blind enough. It’s dark and no one is watching, except for Youngjo, who already reassured him. It’s time to let his soul shine bright with no hesitation from his ego.

Hwanwoong was able to get his body closer to Youngjo’s and let a hand slide up his back. Their foreheads touched, beginner’s fear was still there, but the oldest didn’t hesitate in letting both his hands roam from Hwanwoong’s neck to the back of his head. Then, he put their palms together and guided the other’s arms as he pushed Hwanwoong with his chest, silently asking him to push back too, as a sign that he doesn’t want to let go of him.

The younger didn’t let himself fall back, not letting go of Youngjo. When he did let go of the other’s hands, he moved his own on Youngjo’s sides, sliding them until both met around his belly button.

“ _I’m not Hwanwoong_ ”, he thought, turning his vulnerability into power.

In response, Youngjo rested his head on _not Hwanwoong_ ’s shoulder, and, letting his head slide from it, he ran away from _not Hwanwoong_ ’s sight. They were now back to back, playing the pushing game again, unknowingly playing with each other’s newfound trust, pushing back and forth, until Youngjo, satisfied, turned around and hugged _not Hwanwoong_ ’s back. _Not Hwanwoong_ faced Youngjo and noticed how both were sweating by then. And, like that, their touches finally parted.

“That was Hwanwoong”, Youngjo whispered, patting the other’s back.

☆

Hwanwoong and Youngjo were walking down the stairs after the long rehearsal, finished after some text practise, which probably wasn’t the worst part for Hwanwoong. Since they had left the room to go home, they were walking in silence, processing everything that had happened in the past hours. Youngjo was afraid Hwanwoong was starting to feel weird about what he experienced, though.

“So, what did you think? We’re a bunch of freaks, right?”, he asked.

“Yes, you are, but I liked it. It’s kind of crazy how you get to these levels of… I don’t know… trance?”, Hwanwoong confessed, fiddling with his jacket’s zipper.

“Well, it’s not really like that… I don’t get to that point yet, I think”, Youngjo replied, though that’s not what Hwanwoong thought at all. “But you did really well! I think you have it in you!”

“Are you sure?”, the younger doubted.

“Yeah! On my first time I was truly scared of all this, but you adapted really well!”, Youngjo said, perhaps with his eyes shining more than usual, because he found Hwanwoong to be a special guy he wanted to see bloom.

“Then be careful I won’t steal the roles from you!”, Hwanwoong joked. However, they quickly went silent again since the tension between the two remained and no one was able to address it.

Hwanwoong tried to not think much about it, because there’s obviously nothing to think about. All their interactions were all an acting thing, overthinking them would just make it all weird. Plus, he was unconsciously avoiding the thought that interacting with Youngjo was completely different than with other pairs. But that stayed in his unconsciousness, he didn’t actually realize that.

On the other hand, Youngjo was already silently blaming himself for again starting to get attached to people because of the most insignificant of things, because, as an actor, showing special affection towards a counterpart was absolutely unprofessional. He’s catching feelings like he always did and he shouldn’t. Because he’s going to have to deal with Hwanwoong on every single weekly rehearsal. If he decided to actually join, that is.

“Have you decided to join the club?”, he asked, showing a cheerful face, despite the turbulent discussion that was going on inside his head.

“If you don’t mind me stealing all the spotlight from you”, Hwanwoong answered sarcastically, shrugging his shoulders.

“Yes! I’m so glad!”, Youngjo replied, clenching his fist in victory. Hwanwoong laughed at the cuteness of the gesture, making the oldest feel embarrassed and pick up his phone so as to avoid blushing or looking at the other’s starry eyes he was admiring minutes ago.

Glancing at the playlist that showed up when Youngjo unlocked his phone, Hwanwoong remembered he had something important to say.

“You know… you are totally unlike what people think you are”, he said, still playing with the zipper and looking at the night sky up above, not being able to look at Youngjo’s eyes that were glimmering before.

“Oh really…”, the other replied, quite sarcastically and with some tone of disappointment.

“It’s not like I didn’t notice, but I found it interesting. Popular heartbreaker by day, mysterious wallflower by night”, Hwanwoong said, moving his hands dramatically on the last phrase.

“Well, it’s been hours since we met, you don’t really know me”, Youngjo played. They were in fact mere hours, yet Hwanwoong got to know Youngjo in ways many people didn’t.

“So, you’re declining my compliment, is that it?”, Hwanwoong played back with a trap card.

“You don’t think I deserve it?”, the other continued with a teasing smile, showing his playful self.

“You really are a damn theatre kid after all, I take it back”, Hwanwoong sighed, as they got to an intersection. Youngjo laughed at the other’s jokes, showing an adorable eye smile with a slight nose scrunch. It felt nice to talk to someone properly, besides Geonhak or Seoho. His pure smile made Hwanwoong smile too, due to how wholehearted and contagious it was.

“I’m just joking, Little Woongie”, Youngjo replied.

_Little Woongie_? Hwanwoong would usually get mad at such a nickname, but the other seemed like such a bright kid, he didn’t even think about anger.

“See you tomorrow at lunch?”, the oldest asked, as they had to part ways to their dorms.

“As usual”, the other replied, waving goodbye.

☆

When the sound of Hwanwoong’s collection of keychains moving behind the door was heard, Keonhee and Dongju immediately got up, completely forgetting about the RuPaul’s Drag Race season they were watching as an excuse to procrastinate making dinner. When the new actor opened the door, he could only see the two roommates looking directly into him, with eyes like swords, Keonhee with a frying pan on hand and Dongju holding a wooden spoon, as RuPaul said in the background: “sashay away”.

Maybe you’re right Mama Ru. Maybe Hwanwoong should turn around and leave before they would start yelling at him for not saying when he was coming back for dinner. Not today Satan. Not today.

“Your curfew was one hour ago!”, Keonhee yelled, as Hwanwoong expected, moving the scratched frying pan dramatically, almost slipping from his hand.

“You’re not my mom”, Hwanwoong responded, throwing his stuff to a corner.

“But we’re your roommates who patiently waited hour after hour just to make dinner for you!”, Dongju joked.

“You don’t seem too bothered by it, though”, Hwanwoong said, reaching for the remote to turn down the sound of the TV, which could be heard from outside. However, he couldn’t even tap the button before Dongju rushed to hit his butt with the spoon.

“At least come help me here, you ungrateful bastards. And don’t use my cutlery for such endeavours!”, Keonhee scolded from the kitchen, in between the other’s giggles and eventual screaming.

When they were all making dinner in the cramped kitchen, Hwanwoong could still feel sharp eyes staring at him and demanding him to spill all the tea. As long as it wasn’t on their food, of course.

“So, how was it?”, Keonhee asked.

“What did you do?”, Dongju asked right after.

“It was cool! We practiced some body language, skin to skin interactions, read some scripts... It was sort of different from what I used to do before. And it was kind of crazy because everyone was so weirdly into it”, Hwanwoong said, internally judging the others for being so invested in his life, especially over these rehearsals he’d prefer to keep to himself for lord knows what reason.

“That sounds kinda sus, but cool!”, Keonhee replied, not taking the eyes off the food he was cooking with the frying pan and the wooden spoon which were not weapons anymore.

A brief moment of silence followed.

“But how was _he_?”

“What did _he_ do?”

Of course they only cared about Youngjo’s reputation. Right in front of his salad. Hwanwoong sighed and rolled his eyes. Having a distorted idea of the theatre kid was not their fault, but he wanted to change their perspective to what is true.

“Actually, he’s nothing like what you guys think of him. He’s really nice company. And a great actor too.”

“But did you like... do those scenes with him? Skin to skin?”, Dongju asked, imagining what kind of interactions an actor could do inside an ordinary university classroom.

“Hwanwoong? Skinship? Please, just pass me the salt.”, Keonhee said, trying to actually have some food ready to eat.

“What do you mean? Look, if I have to touch him fondly for the play, I will do it. I know what I’m capable of”, Hwanwoong replied, making the others freeze while the food was boiling.

“Actually, never mind the salt. There’s enough spice here already”, Keonhee joked, but taking the salt from Hwanwoong’s side anyways.

“I know you think I have a crush on him. I don’t know where you got the idea, but there’s no such thing. No tea, no shade, no whatever”, he said, grumpy, going back to making his disrespected salad.

“Was he gentle with you though?”, Keonhee kept on asking, because he was way too curious and wanted to make sure his friend was being treated right and hanging out with the right people.

Hwanwoong chuckled at the unexpected question. “Yeah...? Don’t worry, Keonhee. He is good on what he does. And he makes everyone feel very comfortable around him.”

“Tch”, Dongju mouthed, always sceptical, piling cups on top of each other as a form of abstract culinary productivity.

“If you are nice to him, that is”, Hwanwoong said directly to the youngest, who was being stubborn just for the fun, at that point.

“I mean, if you ignore his overwhelming fuckboy aura, he definitely has some teddy bear energy”, Keonhee admitted, much to Dongju’s disapproval, who made a disgusted face. Right in front of his glass castle masterpiece.

“I know! He has literally one of the brightest smiles I’ve seen. Uni’s broken streetlights could never”, Hwanwoong said. The other two just looked at him sideways in judgemental silence. They didn’t know what was worse. His obliviousness or the lame comparison to the streetlight that was a quite literal turn off. “What?”

“Your lightbulb is broken. You need food,” Dongju said, bringing the plates to the small table by the TV.

“Yeah, we even left the snatch game hanging!”, Keonhee complained, trying not to burn his fingers, running clumsily to the table with a steamy pan.

“Party”, Hwanwoong said, putting down the salad that lacked salt.

☆

“Are you really gonna make me interrupt the game?”, Geonhak complained at Youngjo with all the salt in his voice, sitting beside him, but cursing at the TV because he was finding it physically impossible to defeat that annoying final boss.

“Just give me that, you noob”, Seoho said, snatching the controller from Geonhak’s hands.

“What is it about those study notes that is making you so annoying?”, Geonhak asked, slapping the papers Youngjo was looking at but not really reading.

“There’s nothing wrong with my notes, silly”, Youngjo said, finally putting the papers down on his lap and noticing he was actually stepping on Geonhak while moving his leg nervously.

“Then stop that, you dumbass!”, he kept on complaining, making Youngjo get up to put his empty cup in the sink.

“That was not pogchamp, Geonhak. Not poggers”, Seoho said at Geonhak’s somewhat angry tone, but not even paying much attention to the situation, because the damn boss was actually taking all his hp. Fs in the chat, gamers.

Geonhak looked again at Youngjo, who was way more energetic than his usual calm and quiet self. He was even singing while making dinner when he was usually the one telling them to be quieter at night. And now he was screaming. Wait what.

“My notes!”, Youngjo cried after he put his notes in the wet sink and the cup under his arm out of pure distraction. Seeing him so stupidly helpless was funny, but Geonhak needed to copy those notes later, so he might as well get a hairdryer. Quickly.

After that, Geonhak sat back down, trying to get the controller back from Seoho, who lost to the boss moments before with no one noticing. Not his fault though, the boss was acting like a dick.

So, because Seoho was clearly very poggers, Geonhak had no choice but to stay still and watch him _not_ being a loser in the game. _Obviously_. But the sound of the hairdryer, which just wouldn’t turn off, was getting on his nerves. Somehow, not only it blew air, it spread Youngjo’s restless aura across the room. Oh, Geonhak could feel he was making puppy eyes at that exact moment.

Youngjo wanted to talk, he just wouldn’t say so.

“What?”, Geonhak asked, dragging Youngjo inside the bedroom and closing the door behind him.

“Geonhak, I feel things”, Youngjo said, plopping on his bed.

“Don’t we all?”, he asked.

Youngjo paused to think about the question.

“Geonhak, I feel more things”.

And it was at that moment that things added up inside Geonhak’s fed up brain. His face relaxed in an instant, and he really used all his control to not start laughing at Youngjo’s face, sitting by his side on the bed.

“So your very big brain expected that going on a theatre date wouldn’t have the feels involved?”, Geonhak asked, placing a hand on the other’s shoulder.

“It was not a date!”, Youngjo corrected, raising his index finger to the nothingness.

“Yeah, sure, you just took a cute guy to one of the most intimate things you do and acted all bubbly and nervous until you almost turned your study notes into watercolours. Still keeping it artistic, huh?”, Geonhak joked.

“Geonhak, this is serious… as one of the main actors, I cannot let this affect my performance”, Youngjo vented, putting his hands on his temples.

“Then kick him out”, the other simply responded.

“No!”, Youngjo exclaimed, turning to Geonhak dramatically.

“You’re so whipped you can’t let your Juliet go”, Geonhak replied in an equally melodramatic tone, even putting his hand on his forehead.

“Fuck!”, Seoho yelled behind the door. There was no need to be that straightforward, but, in his case, he wasn’t screaming about relationships. His relationship with that final boss was only getting worse, though.

“Anyways. I don’t want to scare Woongie. What if I unknowingly start using acting with little Woongie for my own benefit?”, Youngjo continued, already travelling in the overthinking rollercoaster.

“With whomst?”, Geonhak asked, processing the fact Youngjo already gave him a cute nickname and had feelings to the extent he’s afraid he won’t be able to control them.

Youngjo scratched his head and couldn’t respond, realizing he had completely fallen into his classic process of developing attachment so quickly he couldn’t even notice he was lying face down on the ground with a baggage of feelings weighing on his back.

“Oh god, you’re hopeless”, Geonhak sighed. “But aren’t you the one who always says you’re another version of yourself while acting?”

Youngjo nodded, reminding himself he should keep those words in mind at all times to avoid any problems with other actors. Imagine if Hwanwoong noticed anything different on his touches or speech and started avoiding him? Youngjo really didn’t want to lose him, so he was going to respect him and keep his colours to himself.

“And, I don’t know much about the matter, but what if you let your feelings show a little? Wouldn’t it make your acting a bit richer?”, Geonhak suggested.

Oh, it sure would, but there was no way Youngjo was going to do that, absolutely not. If he used his own special colours, he’d be like the flickering streetlight. One can only tell it flickered because the light showed itself again and again, after the contrast of the darkness. That’s what Youngjo could not do. He couldn’t let his heart flicker, or Hwanwoong would notice the difference whenever his acting painted a little more colour than it should. And, just like a broken streetlight, it would become annoying very soon, so he had to get his heart fixed.

“Geonhak, I need to take a piss, but this game is pissing me off in so many levels”, Seoho said, having opened the door a little to hand the controller for Geonhak to complete the level and declaring the gossip interrupted.

The upcoming project would be the toughest boss Youngjo ever fought in his entire life.


	2. Seduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the intense first contact with each other, Hwanwoong and Youngjo will now have to rehearse a stronger, deep red coloured emotion that could deeply change the way they looked at each other.

It was the first time the two groups didn’t have their tables available for lunch. Apparently, a bunch of drunk freshman loosened the screws and broke the recycled wood after jumping on the tables in a hilarious game of beer pong Seoho is now wishing he had watched.

Once again, it turned out to not be a day like the others and the boys had to find a new place to eat. They were all stopped in time staring at each other, not knowing what to do, until Keonhee had to take action and suggest sitting under a tree, like they’re in a cute picnic but were going to end up with their jeans stained with a grass green.

It was the perfect excuse for Dongju to eat lunch while cuddling up to Geonhak, making everyone suddenly third wheel, fourth, fifth, sixth...

“Did y’all know most alcoholic drinks contain grass? And now we’re sitting on it. Sick, am I right?”, Seoho said out of nowhere, patting the lawn.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Keonhee”, he said, sitting beside the grass connoisseur. “Love to know I’ve been having shots of grass.”

“Hey, Little Woongie, do you want to sit here?”, Youngjo asked, putting his flannel shirt on the ground for Hwanwoong to sit, so he wouldn’t stain his pants. It looked like his grandma’s table cloth, so it was kind of fitting for a last minute picnic.

Hwanwoong accepted with no hesitation, and the two instantly started talking about music and theatre things Keonhee couldn’t fully grasp, especially when he suddenly felt a wave of outrage run through his whole body. Even Dongju miraculously left Geonhak’s embrace to whisper at his ear:

“The amount of disrespect I feel right now”, Dongju said.

“Years and years of friendship of getting yelled at for using nicknames, and this guy is allowed to do it after some days?”, Keonhee replied. They were actually just a few hours of rehearsal, but it would be better if they didn’t know that or we’d have to call a mortuary agency

Both of them were looking sideways at what was more than obvious to have turned into an inseparable pair. Sharing earphones, sharing snacks, Youngjo giggling at his own cringe jokes, Hwanwoong half-pretending to be disappointed at each of them. Dongju could unsee it if he went back into Geonhak’s arms, but Keonhee and Seoho...

“So... you like grass, huh?”, Keonhee started.

“I mean… I wouldn’t say _like_ grass. It’s more appreciating its greenness, I guess”, Seoho replied, his wisdom showing on the way he moved his chopsticks swiftly.

“What about grass that isn’t green?”, Keonhee asked.

“It still has chlorophyll, so it’s still green at heart”, Seoho explained.

“Wow. Terrific”

☆

_You should be ashamed_

_Idiot_

_Cheater_

_Fake friend_

Hwanwoong had to turn on _do not disturb_ because Keonhee wouldn’t stop messaging him, while he was waiting for Youngjo on the stairs by the broken streetlight. He knew he was just kidding, even though he was sort of mad over Youngjo for being allowed to use cringe nicknames, but the crush jokes were getting a little too old to Hwanwoong. Youngjo and him would only meet at lunch and rehearsals, and this was only the second one. He’s just trying to make a good actor friend, who happened to have a lot of things in common with him, so they should stop saying those things. Before they spoke them into existence, or something like that. But it was not even an option, because Youngjo was so lame and everyone wanted him. Hwanwoong didn’t.

Thinking of which, Youngjo soon arrived at the usual spot, always showing a tender smile when he approached Hwanwoong. However, as they were getting closer to the clubroom, mostly in silence, step after step, breathing in the cold air, Youngjo’s face started getting gradually expressionless. The other could almost see some worry from the way the oldest’s eyebrows frowned slightly.

The actor was wearing a mask.

Hwanwoong didn’t ask a thing about it, though. There was not much time to think about it, as they were already at the door of the theatre club, ready for another night of letting go of social masks and playing with inner feelings that don’t come out often, hiding behind furrowed eyebrows.

Youngjo overthought. It’s not like he could help it. Geonhak’s words of advice, the memory of Hwanwoong’s touch, and the worry of stepping boundaries right after, filled his mind the whole week, in an inconclusive cycle, making him space out in each and every lecture. Geonhak wasn’t going to have notes to copy at that rate.

However, with every lunch break they had together, Youngjo felt more comfortable with Hwanwoong, so he could convince himself there was nothing to worry about. Actually, everyday became a blast once they were together, the only time of the day when his noisy thoughts over his feelings would be stopped, while his feelings only grew bigger and louder for Hwanwoong. Youngjo loved. It’s not like he could help it.

Summarizing Youngjo’s current indecisive mind, he thought he could give a good performance on that rehearsal without thinking too much. He just had to trust his own skills and he’d keep focus, showing his inner feelings in the right way to whatever individual, either it was his growing love or frustration. So he laid down on the floor of the room, like usual, and took some deep breaths to forget about the world.

The warm up of the rehearsals always went around relaxation, preparation of the mind and basic non-verbal interacting, in the same notes Hwanwoong experienced in the first rehearsal. However, that time, the practice would focus on a very specific and private intention.

The teacher formed a circle with the chairs while the actors were focused on their own acting and snapped fingers once to make them pay attention.

“As you should know, our play will be strong on romantic interactions. Today we will focus on carnal love. Half of you will sit on the chairs and the other half will pass by them slowly, and those sitting must seduce the others with their body language. Make them yours. Get their full attention. Understood?”. The actors nodded affirmatively. “After that, we’ll switch places, so everyone can try being seduced and seducing.”

With a clap, they had to let go of any boundaries and begin the exercise.

 _“Yes. It’s all about letting go. It’s better to not think at all_ ”, Youngjo told himself inside his head before starting. Being seduced didn’t require much mental effort, but he wasn’t scared of being the one seducing either. It was true, trying to act authentically alluring could either go perfect or just turn uncomfortably embarrassing. However, Youngjo had prided self-confidence in expressing that type of feeling, so he would focus on that exciting colour of his without staining it with the thought of specific individuals.

The specific individual, Hwanwoong, could only watch as the room was lit with dim red lights and filled with the sound of stimulating music. That was another challenge for him, and he was secretly glad that he wasn’t one of those sitting. He understood the feeling, but he didn’t really know how he was supposed to show it, so he started passing by those who were in charge of seducing, looking to get an idea of how he should do things once they switch places.

Some of those on the chairs were naturally insecure and didn’t do much more than moving their hands along their bodies, while others exaggerated or were too clumsy on movements that should be smoother, in Hwanwoong’s opinion. Nevertheless, the group was big, so he also found some very interesting seducers who were cautious and slow in their movements, but had the intent reflected on their eyes, taking advantage of their clothing without going too far, for example, sliding bra straps across their shoulders or just adjusting the fabric to show more of their legs or neck. Actually, simply slowly changing their position on the chair as another target passed by was enough to catch the eye.

Feeling the tension and intention of each counterpart, Hwanwoong understood how it was the little and teasing details which allured the stares of those watching and kept them captured to the touches, the hands sliding, the skin being grabbed, and the gazes overflowing desire. All in a silent interaction bathed by a roaring red hue that surrounded them and somehow made it all even more intense.

“Switch”, the teacher ordered, before Hwanwoong could go around the whole circle, not even getting to Youngjo, who was probably on the opposite side. The youngest sat down and had to change focus immediately, as the first counterpart was already passing by him, not letting him think of anyone else.

Swiftly, Hwanwoong let loose of the consciousness that limits the human imagination and impulses, and let himself play with the intense feeling of want, that is hidden to oneself so many times. Interestingly, he had his own unique way of expressing it, always keeping it subtle but intense at the same time, making it seem like he was exposing himself more by sliding his hand down his chest than if he actually showed the skin under his t-shirt.

His lack of experience was there, though, on the way he broke eye contact sometimes and started repeating the same movements. However, after every person that passed by, motivated by the looks of surprise he sometimes got from them, he’d let the attention get to his head and change strategies. That’d translate into shooting a bolder gaze, parting his lips, spreading his legs a bit more, making his lap inviting, while never forgetting to caress his best features delicately.

“Very nice, Yeo. That with the legs was very good”, the teacher pointed out in between the other various comments and tips to other actors. Though he didn’t break focus, he wanted to smile as his pride was getting fuller, only making his natural talent more amplified. It was very rare to find an actor who was able to cause the utmost impact by keeping the acting gentle and mysterious, instead of rough and straight to the point.

Hwanwoong almost wanted to laugh, travelling in a stream of self-confidence, urging him to show more, be greater, attract faster. He wanted more surprise, more compliments and more feeling to make his skin tingle. So, he changed his position, leaning back onto the chair, leaving his left arm hanging behind it. Right after changing into that more dominant pose, he looked up and saw someone taller this time. None other than Youngjo.

Youngjo was giving him the most unfair challenging look, as if asking the other to do better, making Hwanwoong suddenly insecure, despite all the power he was showing from the way he was seating and staring back at the oldest. Yet another colour of Youngjo’s he got to see for the first time.

And that red of his was _really_ attractive. It was as if Hwanwoong was the one being seduced instead. By the way Youngjo’s lips and eyes lost their outlines because of the red lights, the way he towered over him-

The youngest brushed off the thoughts, not completely, though, letting them guide the interaction while keeping his focus on the character he was trying to play. It was an easy character to play, actually, maybe because it was almost like it’s just himself.

He was going to fight back those sharp intense eyes, judging him from top to bottom.

Hwanwoong used the left hand behind the chair to run through his hair, not looking back at Youngjo, as if showing lack of interest, but feeling the other’s gaze follow his every move.

“ _Why won’t he look at me?_ ”, Youngjo thought to himself, admiring Hwanwoong’s fingers moving the hair glimmering with the red light and the intense glare which he never saw before on Hwanwoong’s half shut eyes. A glare that, so bitterly, wasn’t directed at him.

To call Youngjo’s burning and expectant gaze somewhere else, Hwanwoong moved his legs to let his right hand slide from his upper thigh to his knee and back again, daring to let it slip more towards his inner thigh, complemented by a subtle movement of his hips and chin, resulting on a seducing dance of a style which most definitely wasn’t the tango playing in the background.

Youngjo couldn’t believe he was staring at that painfully slow movement. He felt like he wasn’t allowed to do such, but that was exactly what he was supposed to do at that exact moment. He’s supposed to be only Hwanwoong’s. And Hwanwoong already had him on the palm of his hands. Or maybe by his neck. Youngjo wasn’t sure, he felt shivers all over his body, anyways.

He should move on to the next person sitting. But Youngjo was magnetized to Hwanwoong’s image, sitting so sexily on the chair, with some feeling reflected on his eyes that could be read as some sort of satisfaction. Satisfaction from what, though?

Probably from the fact he was hypnotized so easily. _Dang it_.

Too soon, the places were switched again, and Hwanwoong was again standing. He didn’t really understand why, but he was looking forward to get revenge from the way Youngjo was glaring at him, almost making him break character. He never thought he could get intimidated by such an easy-going guy, but it hit him differently. Perhaps it was that dark and provocative side of his that got people so interested in him. His fierce looks also helped a lot. No wonder.

Hwanwoong didn’t really care about the other actors anymore. He admitted he only cared about Youngjo. He wanted to see what that attitude was all about. At that point, a challenge was settled between the two, and, oh, it felt so awfully good and freeing.

The youngest tried his best provocative glare once he could finally stand in front of Youngjo, daring to look at him sideways, at first. Youngjo smirked. The challenge was settled. And with Hwanwoong showing himself so comfortable with it all, Youngjo wasn’t afraid of any boundaries or self-doubt anymore.

_Let there be colour._

Youngjo’s eyes, so especially intense by themselves, had gotten seductive with the red lights, but they were never this agonizingly irresistible. Hwanwoong wondered how could he show lust so effortlessly and convincingly. To the point of making him skip some breaths.

Youngjo had his legs spread considerably, and, maintaining the burning eye contact with Hwanwoong, he laid back on the chair and, again, looked at him from head to toe as he pulled back the sleeves of his plaid shirt. It was almost humiliating for the other, being inspected like that once again, but weirdly arousing. Like if there was a split second every time, when Youngjo would take the time to analyse and think what was the best way to please the counterpart.

Like Hwanwoong, he also ran his hands through his hair, showing his forehead. However, his mouth followed the movement, teeth biting the lips, and his left hand was noticeably sliding from his thighs to his groin, like he really had erased all possible boundaries, even the most basic ones, which is ironically out of his real character. He completed the motions by licking his upper lip as he looked not only at but into Hwanwoong.

“Nice job with the mouth, Kim. The mouth is not just for saying lines, guys, use it now too”, the teacher interrupted.

Youngjo didn’t seem phased by the compliment, however. The hand he used on his hair was back from behind his neck and was sliding on his collarbones, showing more skin and applying pressure on it. Before Hwanwoong could realize it, concentrated on the other’s distracting mouth, Youngjo’s fingertips were already inside his pants.

“ _They don’t lie when they say he’s one of the best actors. He’s insane_ ”, Hwanwoong thought to himself, wanting to see how far that hand would go and how bold the oldest really was.

Youngjo probably wasn’t on his right mind anymore, but he knew how to tease and keep it inside his pants. We’re not talking about his hand though. Much to Hwanwoong’s disappointment, his fingers didn’t go beyond his waistband and, instead, they were moving upwards, his shirt following, sliding over his abs and also pressing his skin, so every shape is properly delineated.

“ _Whoa_ ”, Hwanwoong almost mouthed, having forgotten his character long ago. It was embarrassingly unprofessional, but he was unable to find a way to keep it together. No one would in front of this dirty show, would they?

Too soon, Youngjo released the pressure, but not the tension, expecting Hwanwoong to move on to the next pair. He did such and Youngjo thanked the heavens he did, because his consciousness, along with his sanity and values, started making their way into his head again.

Fortunately for both, the following exercises were individual, consisting on releasing the desire they searched for before by walking around and dancing a bit, transmitting the memories of the interactions. Which meant thinking about it all once again, picturing the act and savouring it to fully understand what is the sensation they’re looking for.

With that in mind, Youngjo and Hwanwoong avoided each other as they moved around the room, each with different reasons. Or perhaps the same reason, but that they didn’t grasp just yet.

Truth was, Youngjo’s presence weakened. He was starting to hate the moment the rehearsals came to an end, because it was at that precise point he’d start feeling self-conscious of everything he had done before. If he had felt like he was taking advantage of Hwanwoong on the last rehearsal, which was so basic, one cannot imagine the self-sabotage going on in his mind after they spent most of the time seducing each other.

Even while picking up their things to go home, the two kept their distance. Hwanwoong didn’t say a word to him since the end of the rehearsal, he was talking to other people, probably avoiding him. Youngjo started to wonder if bringing Hwanwoong to the group was a good idea, if the only thing he was going to do was hurt him. Or better, maybe Youngjo was the one who shouldn’t be there anymore.

He left the room before Hwanwoong and sighed in silence, where he could hear his thoughts better. There was something that didn’t make sense.

_Hwanwoong is not backing up._

_Is he comfortable with me?_

_Or does he feel forced to act like so?_

“Youngjo? Oh! There you are!”, Hwanwoong’s cheerful voice was heard.

_Ah... his happy voice..._

“Why didn’t you wait for me?!”, he whined, running to catch up to Youngjo.

“I needed fresh air. Too many people in the same room”, he half-lied.

The silence came back, like it always did between them after the rehearsals. It was just both of them, letting it all sink in again and again, their breathing showing on the cold air and simply enjoying the other’s company. Sometimes, one would check his phone, then they’d pass by the broken streetlight, realize the sexual tension was still through the clouds, and one thought would be louder than the others.

“Hwanwoong.”

He didn’t call him Little Woongie.

“If you ever start feeling uncomfortable, it’s okay if you want to leave”, Youngjo said, with the most concerned face Hwanwoong ever saw on him.

“Why that all of a sudden?”, Hwanwoong asked, genuinely confused.

“ _He doesn’t realize?_ ”, Youngjo asked himself, already regretting speaking up, nervously fixing his side burns.

“It’s just... I... Was I too much?”

“Oh, Youngjo…”, Hwanwoong laughed, hitting the other’s arm. “It’s all acting, it doesn’t scare me!”

Youngjo sighed in relief. At least it seemed his real feelings didn’t pass through.

“Actually, what scares me are your skills. You really know how to be sexy as hell, man”, Hwanwoong confessed, patting the other’s shoulder and cackling a little afterwards because maybe that was a terribly awkward thing to say.

Youngjo had no idea how to answer to his crush telling him he’s sexy. Sexy as hell.

“I… don’t know either”, he said, after laughing in embarrassment. “You are really good at it too, though. I was really surprised.”

“You always say that every time”, Hwanwoong replied.

“But it’s true! It took me ages to get this confident on it, and in your second rehearsal, you seduced me in a way I had never been seduced before”, Youngjo complimented, taking him a while to understand what he just said.

“I, I mean, you seduc-“

“No! No take backs”, Hwanwoong said with his index finger up to shut Youngjo’s mouth. “The guy who seduced the biggest playboy of the University. Doesn’t that have a nice ring to it?”, he asked, putting his arm on Youngjo’s shoulders and moving his other hand in front of their eyes, as if showing the new title over the landscape.

“You earned it, I guess”, Youngjo replied, thinking the way Hwanwoong was reacting to his slip-up was unbelievable.

“Then I must be really good at it, huh?”, Hwanwoong said, as they got to the intersection that separates their ways.

“I think the real playboy here is you”, Youngjo joked.

“I did say I’d steal your role”, Hwanwoong replied, sticking out his tongue as he walked away excitedly, under the yellow hues of the streetlights. “See you tomorrow!”

“Bye, Little Woongie”, Youngjo said with a soft smile.

He called him Little Woongie.

☆

Inside Youngjo’s dorm, there was a persistent cloud of confusing feelings floating around ever since he stepped inside, with Hwanwoong’s words playing on repeat inside his head. However, on that night, no conclusions were being reached, partly because Geonhak was absent, as he had gone on a date with Dongju to enjoy some time together. Soon, all of them were going back to their hometowns on the university break at the end of the month, so all time to hang out was precious at that point.

Precisely on that night, when Youngjo had the wildest and most unbelievably tense rehearsal of his life, he couldn’t talk with the friend that knew him best, so the only love guru available for the post-rehearsal appointment would be, the one and only, Lee Seoho.

“Let me see if I got it. You have a crush, but you think Hwanwoong doesn’t have a crush, so you’re afraid that crush is going to make your crush think you are using rehearsals just for you to crush on your crush even more”, Seoho said, sitting on the counters while throwing onion chex to the air and catching them with his mouth. Youngjo had to explain what was going on that whole time between him and Woongie, because Seoho seemed to just not catch up on that type of thing. Ever. At least he could catch the chex successfully 95,8% of the time, and that’s pretty neat.

“Hum... I think you got it”, Youngjo said, not really understanding if the other in fact got it, but at least the idea was there.

“You and Hwanwoong? Really? Didn’t see that coming”, Seoho said, which made Youngjo surprised, since it’s exactly the opposite of what the vast majority of people thought. That vast majority of people being Kim Geonhak only.

“What do you mean?”, Youngjo then asked.

“I mean, you seem to be very good friends, and you seem to appreciate some sexy time in rehearsals, apparently. But it’s not like I see any romantic vibes or whatever. Maybe you’re not being as obvious as you think you are”, his friend explained, groaning when one of the green cereals landed way too far from his reach. The probability of success just lowered around 1% just because of that fallen chex.

“Is this really just my anxiety acting up?”, Youngjo asked himself, putting a hand on his forehead while waiting for the instant noodles to cool down. Could it really be he just had an exaggerated view of his behaviours until now? Even after a rehearsal in which they had no choice but to seduce each other?

“I guess. I don’t think he noticed anything either”, the other replied, trying to think of anytime Hwanwoong had reacted differently at lunch break, though he could only remember his and Keonhee’s dissertations about grass. “You’re fine, bro. You just gotta be more obvious when you’re not in actor mode, if you want to make it work. Though, to be honest, making someone fall in love with you just by acting would make a pretty sick webtoon.”

“Oh my god”, Youngjo sighed. If that was really the case, if his real colours never showed, then he really was acting like a fearful idiot all that time. That still didn’t erase his constant self-doubt, tough, but his friend was the voice of reason there, being the one with the most romantic experiences out of them all. It’s not that any of their friends understood how he could date people so effortlessly, but somehow he did.

After some silence and the first mouthful of noodles, Youngjo felt more at ease to ask: “How do you even ask people out?”

“I don’t think you want to get advice from me. My ex dumped me last week because I ate these chex with ice cream”, Seoho said, his tone of voice showing that he thought he didn’t do anything wrong.

“Oh yeah… sorry for asking”, Youngjo scratched his head, feeling bad for his inconsiderateness. “Then, how do I know if Hwanwoong is into me?”

“Has he asked you if you like jazz?”, his friend asked.

“No? But he asked me if I like alternative rock”, the other answered, puzzled.

“Then he’s not into you”, Seoho bluntly concluded, victoriously catching another chex with his mouth as if it was a period to his phrase.

“How does that even work? Did your ex ask you if you like jazz?”, Youngjo asked with his eyebrows furrowed before slurping more noodles from his late dinner.

“No. _I_ asked. And it worked”, he said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Youngjo laughed at what he thought was just Seoho’s nonsense. How would a Bee Movie quote work to hit it off? He could imagine himself walking up to Hwanwoong and making that question out of nowhere, both of them laughing because who wouldn’t recognize that meme? But, given the fact they had a similar music taste, maybe he did like jazz. Youngjo needed to show him his favourite songs by Chet Baker.

And so, it hit him.

“Seoho, you’re a genius!”, he happily said, suddenly heading to his bedroom, still slurping on the noodles on the way.

“Yeah, I know. She fell for me so easily”, the other responded with pride. However, after some time of silence, three more cereals landing in his mouth successfully, and no Youngjo in sight, he wondered what the hell clicked on the other’s brain.

Sometimes, Seoho didn’t understand people. Most of the time, actually, he thought, looking at one of the green chex he was holding between his fingers. Like one wise green individual once said, ogres are like onions. Onions have layers, ogres have layers. People too have layers, Seoho thought. And it took him a lot of effort to see through them.

Well, that’s why he preferred to eat the infamous green onion cereal instead of chomping on a whole, layered and tear-inducing onion. It’s way easier to eat and it tasted much better.

Especially with ice cream.

☆

“ _Damn ninjas cutting onions!_ ”, Keonhee thought to himself, feeling tears roll down his cheeks as he was watching the sappy drama Dongju hated, while eating ice cream directly from the tub. Good thing his roommate went on a date with Geonhak and he could binge watch all of it with no interruptions, using the other’s Netflix account. That was, until Hwanwoong finally arrived home.

Hwanwoong closed the door behind him and leaned onto it, thinking “ _what the fuck just happened?_ ”. After not hearing a simple polite greeting, Keonhee cleaned his tears and looked behind him from the sofa he was sitting on.

“Good night to you too”, he said, looking at the other, who had an unreadable expression while making his way to his bedroom already, instead of making a fridge inspection, like he always did when he got home hungry.

“Aren’t you having dinner?”, he asked.

“I have to think”, Hwanwoong answered.

“Oh wow, finally doing it for the first time?”, Keonhee joked, getting a door bang in response, as the other closed himself in his bedroom.

“Ok then, Descartes”, Keonhee mumbled. Not thinking much of it, he kept on watching the drama, unbothered. Until he was already on the next episode, the ice cream gone, and Hwanwoong still hadn’t gotten out of his bedroom. He wasn’t making a single noise either. “ _Damn, he’s actually thinking”_.

Keonhee paused the drama and got up to deal with another one, stopping before opening Hwanwoong’s door. He should say something or knock on it, but, inside his mind, for some reason, it made much more sense to grab a napkin, write a note on it and slide it under the door. What he didn’t expect was Hwanwoong opening the door while he was crouching to slide the napkin, slamming it onto Keonhee’s head.

“What are you doing, dumbass?”, Hwanwoong asked, laughing at Keonhee curling up on the floor while making a fuss.

“I was going to check up on you!”, the other cried, still rubbing his poor head. Hwanwoong really didn’t measure his strength on the doorknob.

“With a napkin?”, he said, picking up the wrinkled paper that said “ _u good?_ ”.

After getting a bag of ice for Keonhee’s poor head, Hwanwoong let him join in the bedroom, so he could do the usual post rehearsal report his friend loved to hear. And maybe vent about what was making him feel forced to take time to lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling without making a single move.

“You won’t believe what came out of my mouth today”, Hwanwoong laughed, slapping the other’s arm because what he wanted to say seemed to be that painfully funny, as if getting hit by a door wasn’t enough.

“I told Youngjo he’s sexy as hell.”

Keonhee only had the time to make a disgusted face at Hwanwoong before a question mark came out of his mouth. It was more like an exclamation mark, though.

“Hold on, WHAT?”, he asked.

“But wait! There’s context!”, Hwanwoong replied right after, making gestures with his hands to tell Keonhee to lower his voice.

“What kind of context could justify that statement besides your irrefutable crush on Kim Youngjo?”, the other replied, without stuttering. Hwanwoong had known Keonhee for a long time, but he still couldn’t help but get surprised anytime his friend rapped a whole accusation like that.

“Listen to me. On this rehearsal, we had to do this exercise in which some of us were sitting on chairs and we had to seduce those passing by.”

“What kind of club did you even join?”, Keonhee interrupted, the ice moving inside the bag every time he suddenly turned his head to judge the other.

“Keonhee, we have to practise any type of feeling and situation. And the play is all about these feelings of love”, Hwanwoong impatiently explained, with a sour flavour in his voice.

“Oh wow! How convenient to our enamoured gallant!”, Keonhee sarcastically said. Hwanwoong was about to correct him on the last words, but the confusing truth contained in that statement didn’t let a counterargument get through his mouth, or sound plausible enough. And his friend wouldn’t let him have time to reply anyways, because he already had gotten to a conclusion.

“Look, Woongie. I don’t know how seductive Youngjo was on the rehearsal, but that doesn’t explain why you had to say he was sexy.”

“Why not? Isn’t it a legitimate compliment? Calling your mate sexy?”, Hwanwoong had a drop of reason in his train of thought, but he had no idea what he was saying at that point. He just wanted to win the argument. But, then, why did he even start it?

“Sexy as hell. You added an adjective”, Keonhee insisted with a monotonic voice.

Turned out Hwanwoong himself didn’t know how to feel about any words he was saying anymore, and the single drop of reason had disappeared in a sea of words with indecipherable meanings. What did _sexy_ even mean anymore?

“But you don’t know the best part yet”, he changed the focus of the discussion, showing a mischievous smile, because he knew his friend would probably slap him for what he was about to add.

“He said I seduced him well!”, Hwanwoong said, barely finishing the phrase as he was already chuckling.

Keonhee only sighed, readjusting the ice on his head, that had started to melt and would eventually start dripping water all over the place. Kind of in a similar way Hwanwoong’s chilled heart was finally overflowing a warm feeling through the cracks.

“I don’t know where you want to get with this conversation anymore”, the friend said. “You both have to resolve whatever’s going on between you two.”

“It’s complicated”, Hwanwoong sighed, laying back on the bed. But he understood that having his feelings, thoughts, words and ice bags all mixed up like that, could only mean one thing. “But I guess you and Dongju really spoke a crush into reality”.

“We didn’t do anything. It had always been very real”, his friend bluntly said, like the obvious statement it was.

“Okay, okay, Sherlock. But I still don’t know if this more than a temporary crush. Plus, I can’t afford to let a relationship get in the way of the play we’re rehearsing right now”, Hwanwoong replied, secure in his words.

“Well, fair enough. But you have it all on your hands, why don’t you relax for once in your life?”, Keonhee started, getting up from the bed and walking to the door. “You know? Break the ice, little tiger!”, he finished, shaking the bag with the melted ice before closing the bedroom door to let Hwanwoong think by himself, like he initially wanted.

The little tiger again stared at the ceiling, remembering how the drama room’s walls were painted red.

He felt relieved after realizing what might be the meaning behind all the little changes in mood. He registered them all: the distress on Youngjo’s face before they entered the club room on that night, the concern over his acting after the rehearsal, and even the way he chose to call him Hwanwoong instead of Woongie or Little Woongie… He understood what the colourless mask hid behind.

Still, there was _but_ after _but_ , since blooming love is so indecisive, and Hwanwoong couldn’t picture himself in a relationship with Youngjo. At least not for now, when they had to keep a neutral actor to actor relationship. Not when they had rehearsals of that kind, that didn’t even let Hwanwoong be sure of what was real feeling or intricate improvisation. Unless it got too much to bear.

He was attracted, that’s for sure. And he would like to believe Youngjo was too. But it could be just a week long crush, like usual, so he decided to give it time. Just to make sure. And to make it a little more thrilling. Because the possibility that Youngjo’s acting was better because of him was exciting. And he loved every time he called him Little Woongie and he didn’t want him to stop.

It seemed Hwanwoong actually fancied the lame and popular fuckboy Kim Youngjo, after all.


	3. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the tension at peak, how will the two resolve their inner conflict before the one week university break?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the protein shake part in advance.

The texture of protein mixed with the faint flavour of a banana that was yet to ripe were covering Geonhak’s taste buds, resulting in a sad party of flavours that needed a fanfiction-like description to feel a little more exquisite. With the protein shake on hand, he looked out the kitchen window to contemplate the sunrise of warm colours, which welcomed a new early trip to the gym before classes started. Finding the moment sort of romantic, the early bird looked at the cup on hand again, reflecting the warm sunlight on the bubbles of the liquid, as if greeting him, and whispered to himself:

“This tastes like shit.”

With that said, he heard someone’s footsteps behind him, but, even though it was unusual for anyone in his dorm to be awake at that hour, he didn’t bother check who dared disturb his morning peace. Looking at the empty box of chex on the counter beside him, he figured it was an emergency trip to the bathroom.

But, when he did look back, he realized Youngjo’s CD pile by the TV had disappeared and found its owner on the ground surrounded by dusty disk boxes in some sort of musical summoning circle. He felt his patience dying out quickly, since he had made sure to tidy the whole dorm, so they could go back to their parent’s home and enjoy the short academic break with no worries.

“What the hell are you doing awake at this hour?”, Geonhak asked, leaving the protein shake on the counter. “You’re supposed to pack, not make a whole mess!”

“Geonhak, your computer has a disk drive, right?”, Youngjo replied with another question, checking the CDs one by one, looking for one that could be magically blank and ready to burn.

“Why do you need my computer? Don’t you have a CD player?”, Geonhak asked, approaching the colourful chaos that was so out of decade.

“I’m preparing a surprise gift to make Hwanwoong notice me”, Youngjo said, the childish enthusiasm showing in his smile, like he in fact had hit rewind to 10 years ago.

“What makes you think he hasn’t noticed you already?”, the other asked, picking up his gym bag to head out as quickly as possible, so to avoid early morning social interaction.

“Hum… Seoho?”, the oldest answered with hesitation, his ideas now stained with a bit of doubt from the way Geonhak was looking at him with disapproval.

“Seoho? When did that bastard brainwash you?”, Geonhak sighed, picking up the keys and pointing them at Youngjo as he spoke. “Hwanwoong already got the message long ago, you don’t need to make this stupid mess.”

Youngjo only frowned a bit as Geonhak turned away, staring sadly at the Bren Joy album he was holding, his excitement fading away, but his ominous aura of anxiety filling the room once again. It made his friend rethink his somewhat harsh but truthful words.

“But if you really want to do it, you know the password”, Geonhak said in a shyer voice, finally stepping out of the dorm and closing the door.

He didn’t finish his protein shake.

☆

Out of all the broken structures the staff of the campus could’ve been quick to fix, it had to be the wooden lunch tables. Not even the streetlights that had been failing for months had priority. And Youngjo was somewhat pissed off about it, because it meant the group of friends had to be split again, each half to its table, like it had always been. In more direct words, no sitting beside Hwanwoong, and even more discouragement to give him the gift he had been preparing since the night after the rehearsal until that morning.

Geonhak’s words erased all the fake confidence Seoho had given him before and just brought up his insecurities once again. He sometimes glanced at his backpack with the CD inside, and felt tempted to take it out, walk up to Hwanwoong and stop acting like a coward. Today was the only chance he had to gift it before the upcoming one week break, after all.

Plus, he badly needed to be with him, as seeing him smile was the daily reassurance that all was well between them. But something about him was different since last week.

“Wait, is this how you blow it?”, Keonhee asked, blowing into a tube shaped plant he picked up with Seoho, making a kazoo-like noise along with his friend on the other table. Just another day of their quest of discovering the many utilities of grass and other greeneries.

“What?! How are you doing it already?”, Seoho replied, putting two kazoo plants on his mouth just to again be at the top of the noise chain. “It took me a whole week to manage it!”

“I guess I finally found my true talent”, Keonhee said with a snob tone, pausing his wonderful melody.

“Freaking blowing on grass?”, Dongju whined, trying to shut Keonhee’s mouth with his hand, which made the poor guy almost choke with the plant in his mouth.

“Well, technically, most wind instruments are made out of wood, so basically all professional musicians are blowing into a tree, if you think about it”, Seoho added his bit of uncalled for knowledge.

“Can you _please_ stop talking about blowing on wood when I’m trying to eat?”, Geonhak complained, with a very unfortunate wording that made everyone laugh.

“The two flutists got along surprisingly well, huh?”, Youngjo told Hwanwoong in the middle of giggles, leaning onto the other table.

“Oh, tell me about it! Thank god I have to leave early, so I don’t have to stand this melodic symphony”, he answered sarcastically while packing his things, not once looking at Youngjo.

“Where are you going?”, the other instinctively asked, worry showing in his eyes.

“I have a presentation in about 15 minutes. Got to prepare for it”, he said with a different smile on his face. It was not the usual type that made his cute lines under his eyes show, but one that just pressed his lips. “See you later, Jo!”

“See ya”, Youngjo replied in a small voice. Right when he found courage and had the gift ready behind his back, the other quickly left. Besides, if Hwanwoong even looked at him, it was for a brief moment on the corner of his eye. But he called him Jo all of a sudden.

“Don’t worry, soldier. You’ll get a better chance later”, Geonhak patted Youngjo’s shoulder, having noticed the failed exchange.

What Geonhak didn’t notice was the piece of green that had landed on his lunch, after Seoho blew on it a bit too hard to assert dominance over a naturally skilled Keonhee. Seoho was already some metres away, running away from an angry friend who would sooner or later start chasing him.

And so Geonhak did. Cursing his whole way through, while his anger allowed him get to the target way faster than what seemed humanly possible. Youngjo could only laugh along with Dongju and Keonhee while watching the other two fighting over grass in the distance, forgetting about his little flop, for the time being.

He was glad all of the friends he brought together got along so well. The ones who welcomed him despite the popularity issue, even if they still struggled to fully trust him. Perhaps the wonders of fate were always on his side, after all.

☆

On the last night before the break, his friends already having departed, Hwanwoong made an effort to not miss the rehearsal. Sitting on the stairs as the sun said goodbye and the lights around him lazily turned on, he noticed how the broken streetlight flickered even less on that day, meaning its light would probably die out very soon. Maybe that way it could be less annoying and the staff would notice the old university was actually crumbling down bit by bit, though he already got used to all of it.

But it seemed Hwanwoong was getting less and less used to hearing Youngjo call his name and walking with him to every single rehearsal.

“How did the presentation go?”, Youngjo asked on the way.

“Pretty well, at first, but then the teacher asked questions about a completely different theme I wasn’t prepared for”, Hwanwoong sighed.

“Ugh, that has happened to me too, I know your pain… but at least now you can rest, right?”, the older one comforted, patting the other’s back.

“Yeah! Can’t wait to get back to my parents, eat all I want of my mom’s food, sleep on an actually comfortable bed”, Hwanwoong told with the happy anticipation showing in his voice. “Are you also going home on the last train?”

“No, my mom will come get at the dorm. My parents don’t live far”, Youngjo explained.

“You spoiled child”, the youngest joked, although a bit disappointed. His original idea was to try to pull more of a deep talk with Youngjo on the train, or even just while waiting for different trains. Or simply to have him close by on the train, appreciating his presence and comforting warmth, no words needed.

Way too soon, they got to the clubroom. Unsurprisingly, there were less students there that time, as most were making their way back to their hometowns by then. There was also no more light than the projector showing stars on the ceiling and making the room feel fuller.

“Since we’re fewer today, let’s just unwind a bit and do some improvisations”, the teacher told the students. “Quick. I also have a home to get back to”.

Youngjo and Hwanwoong laid down in different spots in the room. The usual binaural melodies were playing to trigger full relaxation. Hwanwoong still struggled to fully forget his surroundings and think about the nothingness, if such a thing is humanly possible. But those weekly minutes of keeping his eyes closed were becoming a source of comfort he certainly would miss, even if just for once.

Youngjo used that time to repeat his values in his head over and over again. Everything that happened in that room was acting, anything outside it was reality. It should be as simple as tha.t Nevertheless, the duality between leaving boundaries behind the clubroom door for acting and still keeping them in mind to not cause discomfort on the counterpart, as it is not just a mere puppet with no feelings, was still a struggle he couldn’t find an answer to.

Sometime after, the teacher finished the first part of the rehearsal and assigned pairs to the actors, trying to make them as balanced as possible. However, the teacher specifically approached Youngjo, saying:

“I thought it’d be better if you paired up with Yeo, since he’s still a little behind and we have to get this play ready as soon as possible. Is that okay?”

Youngjo light-heartedly agreed, though he hated improvising with people he had more trust in. What’s more, acting with Hwanwoong was only getting more dangerous with each rehearsal, so he was already digging his own grave in his imagination for whatever hellish scenario was coming afterwards.

All of the actors reached to a table to get a paper with a random prompt. The one Youngjo picked said: “Your character is self-assured and has a tendency to take control. Their presence is intoxicating and they know exactly what they want. Your goal is to seduce your pair.”

One could almost see Youngjo’s soul leave his body after he read that. It didn’t even give him time to get in the grave. Maybe Hwanwoong did see his spirit flying off, as he was chuckling at the visible stress. That is, until he read his own prompt.

It was _exactly_ the same.

“What is this going to be? A competition over who kisses the other first?”, the youngest laughed, intentionally flirting for the first time with Youngjo. That was definitely not the best time for it, and it showed, since Youngjo didn’t respond and was stuck reading the prompt again and again.

“So… how do we do this?”, Hwanwoong asked.

Youngjo sighed before changing his expression to a brighter one. “We start talking and figure it out along the way. That’s improvising for you”, he said as it was more than obvious, but he himself had no idea what that would turn out like either. However, he was going to allow himself to be more curious on that night. If things went wrong, he could just make up an excuse and head home sooner, far away from that bewitched place.

“Do you want to go outside so we can have a little more space?”, he asked.

“We can? Sure!”, Hwanwoong agreed.

Both the boys headed outside the room for their group work. Some other groups had the same idea and were already sitting on the cold floor of the corridors or on the stairs. Youngjo preferred a place where they could have a little more privacy, so he looked out the big windows at the end of the main corridor. He could see there was no one at the balcony, so he chose that spot.

Outside, the night was somewhat cold, but the skies were clear with no fog. The stars could be seen clearly as if it were a summer night filled with deep nostalgic talks. The multi-coloured lights of the city, either coming from windows of the tall buildings, streetlights, or the moving car headlights, made them feel like they were at the centre of the universe, but not being watched. And there was no clubroom door to clearly separate acting from reality.

Hwanwoong sat down on one of the tables of the balcony and reread the prompt, wondering how to deal with that challenge. It’s not far off from what he did on the last rehearsal, but words were a totally different language which Hwanwoong was less fluent in.

“Hey, don’t think too much about it”, Youngjo advised, making the other put the prompt paper aside. “Just keep calm. This is all acting, alright?”

 _All acting. Just acting_. At that point, Youngjo was the only one being reassured of that.

“It’s fine. I trust you”, Hwanwoong sincerely said with a smile, successfully calming himself down with that statement.

Those words blew over the oldest, like a strong nocturnal wind which was missing on that night. To avoid getting aware of the nervousness and shiver even more, he took the first step.

“Then I’ll start the approach.”

Youngjo distanced himself from Hwanwoong in order to start by walking toward him with confidence. He tried to recall his sensory memory of the past rehearsals. He remembered his touch on his own skin, the music that was playing, the red colour, and the thrill which consumed him when the other was on his front, looking away with disinterest just to tease him. But, this time, the younger was staring at him, expectant over what he’d do.

Unexpectedly to Hwanwoong, instead of facing him, the other went to the other side of the table, so he could lay his chin on the younger’s shoulder from behind, his hands shyly touching his waist, as he whispered:

“ _Hey, baby_ …”

After his eyes opened wide, Hwanwoong burst out laughing. Classic beginner’s panic. Youngjo also couldn’t help but laugh a little in frustration and embarrassment. Sentences like those were really hard to make sound right.

“You said you trust me, right?”, the oldest asked, to make sure he didn’t imagine it.

“I did, sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to go so straight to the point”, the other replied, trying to get back into character, so he wouldn’t waste Youngjo’s time. He was impressed with that side of his once again. That made him feel even crazier with feelings of what was confirming itself as a serious crush. Because of that, he felt even more tempted to tap into exhilarating danger, before he had to wait a whole week to see Youngjo again.

That specific prompt didn’t give space to boundaries, whatsoever, and they trusted each other in the end, so, what was there to lose at that moment?

Youngjo made his way towards Hwanwoong in the same manner he did before, probably with more intent showing in his sharp eyes and parted lips. But, that time, before he could go around the table, the youngest suddenly grabbed his arm and asked:

“Don’t run away so quickly, love.”

Youngjo almost shivered with that. With the soft grip of Hwanwoong’s small hand around his wrist, and that damned pet name. However, he decided to not let himself surrender to that flaming feeling. He couldn’t forget the dominant _role_ he had to play. And remember those words weren’t meant for him, but for his character.

“What made you think I’m running away? Where have you been?”, Youngjo asked in return, turning to face the other, taking the small hand off his wrist and putting it on his own waist, approaching the other closer and closer.

“Waiting for you to _finally_ face me under the moonlight”, Hwanwoong said, putting his other hand on Youngjo’s hip and leaning in closer too, without breaking eye contact. The way they could feel each other’s heat so closely, touching skin like on the first rehearsal, but with the burning attraction of the last, was making them both do what their unconscious instincts told them to. And it felt so right, there was almost no time for self-awareness over what one was supposed to say or not. It felt forbidden, therefore desirable.

“What a romantic you are”, Youngjo replied in a sarcastic tone, quickly taking the other’s hands from his torso to take control, as prompted. He felt like Hwanwoong was already getting too comfortable with the role, so he decided to go bolder, more true to himself. No, not to himself, but to the prompt, and show all the fresh curiosity he had built. So, since Hwanwoong was sitting in front of him, he laid his cold hands on the other’s thighs, trying to spread them a little more, so he could get even closer.

“It seems you just want more of me, though”, Hwanwoong said with his eyes seductively half shut, picking up Youngjo’s hands from his legs and guiding them along his whole body. The way he was challenging whatever boundaries acting had was making him feel exposed, yet ecstatic at the same time, like he always wanted to feel on stage.

He was letting Youngjo eat him raw.

Even Youngjo felt his years of experience getting shaken by the other’s unrestrained feelings, and by what he almost interpreted as desire along the lines of his expression. If Youngjo himself wanted to show his true potential like Hwanwoong was doing, he had no choice but to let his heart burn brighter than the stars above them. That is, by showing genuine feelings, with no fear of them spilling out.

He smirked at the challenge. Panicking would be his usual reaction to that conflict, but, at that point, that improvisation had indeed turned into another competition, and he wouldn’t allow himself to lose so easily. Not when he had been repressing his feelings for so long it had become unbearable.

 _No guilt. It’s all part of acting_.

What a stupid lie.

“What if I give you more of me instead?”, Youngjo whispered at Hwanwoong’s ear, brushing the tip of his nose on the other’s neck, threatening to kiss it. We can’t forget, the oldest was still afraid of making the other uncomfortable, but that fear always came a little too late, only after he let himself be guided by his feelings. However, to be able to act with raw emotion is something hard to achieve, and he didn’t have intentions of stopping that.

Hwanwoong was absolutely delighted with what he was seeing and feeling. Youngjo never ceased to surprise him more and more by the way he was shining subtly like all the stars above, that he could now see more clearly, as he instinctively leaned his head back a little, feeling the other’s breathing on the skin of his neck. Youngjo’s glittering was of that which is only visible once all the other blinding lights are off. Like the true star he was.

The youngest was genuinely curious to find out how far acting could go, and how much feeling was getting to the other’s head. He remembered being scared on the first times they were touchy, but he was now learning to enjoy the freedom which acting provided: no walls nor fear to display feelings, independently of the person one is acting with. But Youngjo just made it immensely better, his extraordinary acting making him develop so easily. And his skills weren’t the only thing he had developed.

In response to what Woongie did before, Youngjo took the other’s hands and put them under his loose t-shirt, letting Hwanwoong’s hands then travel by themselves on his torso. The touch reminded him of the seduction rehearsal, when Hwanwoong moved his hands so daringly and swiftly it made him crave the touch of those little delicate fingers. And, at that moment, he could finally feel them, touching every texture and imperfection of his skin, making him fall weak to the touch, losing the prompted dominance, the other winning it.

On the other hand, Hwanwoong could feel the intimacy Youngjo was offering, giving his all for him to keep up with. And, if he could clearly understand the feelings of the other just from his acting, he wanted to make sure Youngjo understood that his feelings were the same. Because, even though they had a problem with communication, once they started acting, they somehow understood each other with ease, in the boldest way possible. And it gave Hwanwoong life, even if all of that was meant to stay under the stars and the moon shining on that night. Or just on the memory of the palms of his hands.

Youngjo was overflowing with feeling, in a way he never got to before while acting. That day, when the world around them became vast and freer like the infinite sky, was probably the first time he really felt passionate about what he was doing, even though his insecurities could still be heard, telling him to stop. The newfound sensation quickly ran through his whole body and he really wanted to use that unknown power to seduce Hwanwoong. Or better, the counterpart. So he moved his head from the other’s neck to face him eye to eye, his own gaze suggestive, while not breaking the touch. His lips touched Hwanwoong’s cheek, brushing along it, only breaking contact once he got to the corner of the other’s lips.

It’s as if they were the only forbidden part of an actor, or of a person. Containing the official seal of love he had been wanting for so long, from those soft thin lips.

But it seemed Hwanwoong didn’t want to reject Youngjo’s temptation for even more of an intimate touch, and closed the space between them, making their lips touch for a split second, not even giving them a chance to press against each other, before he got suddenly aware of boundaries.

“Is this really okay?”, the youngest asked, the want in his eyes softening a little.

“Yeah… yeah. You can do it for the acting”, Youngjo said, wondering if Hwanwoong meant _that_.

Whatever it meant, Youngjo was willing to let Hwanwoong take it as far as he wanted. To let himself be stained by the other’s flaming colours.

And, ever so quickly, he got to know what was the meaning of it all, once he felt the seal of love pressing against his lips. Under that endless starry sky, the moon barely illuminating their dark hideout, but promising to keep a secret, while the sounds of a sleepy city surrounded them. If moments ago it was fascinating to hide behind an actor’s mask, in order to feel a little more, today it’s incredibly exciting for both of them to be living in their own skin. The skin they were touching, as the kissing went on.

It wasn’t just simple contact, leaving space for more. Like their relationship which grew avidly right under their noses, the kiss wouldn’t stop growing in pace. Just their breathing blending with the cold air showed how much they were hungry for each other. And it wasn’t just for playing pretend. In reality, the prompt was to seduce, not to be seduced, and both failed it.

At that point, there was no way to stop with every breath they took, every time they breathed each other. With Youngjo’s hand on the other’s waist, holding and clutching skin with enough strength to keep their bodies glued to each other. With Hwanwoong’s hands running through the older’s hair, starting to curl up due to the sweat. But their hands never stood still on the same place, moving roughly, yet keeping a theatrical form at the same time. They were learning almost everything about each other’s bodies, the puppets of their acting. Understanding each other. Communicating with the touch what their impulses wanted to expose.

Their lips too never stopped moving. A lip kiss turned into a French kiss, then they’d breathe, then they’d keep going, giving a silent voice to so many words they had stored to tell each other. Like that, colour-stained fantasy had made its way into the blank dimension of reality.

Seeing Hwanwoong smile with satisfaction with his eyes closed once they stopped making out, made Youngjo realize they had their first kiss already. He didn’t even notice sooner, as he had lost count of how many times their lips touched.

Their very first kisses. If he could call them that. If there was real intention in them.

“ _But I felt it_. _That was Hwanwoong_.”

So Youngjo concluded.

The oldest leaned his forehead on the other’s, also closing his own eyes, yet letting out a sigh filled with anxiety.

“Woongie…”, he started, his voice shaky, leaving his hands on Hwanwoong’s shoulders and not daring to look at him on the eyes, which were hypnotizing moments ago.

Hwanwoong started laughing, still not opening his eyes, as if they were both suddenly blind, after being blinded by their flickering impulses in an intense exchange.

“So, is this how you make people fall for you?”, the youngest asked with sarcasm, which Youngjo struggled to interpret with positivity.

The other finally parted from the touch to look at Hwanwoong with sorry eyes, his vision slightly blurry because of the small tears that started forming because of nervousness, relief, or all in between.

“Hey, I’m just joking”, the youngest said in a softer voice, noticing Youngjo’s starry eyes. He cupped the other’s face and cleaned his shy tears, not letting him run away so easily, like he always tried to.

“What’s the matter?”

Youngjo tried to form words. He tried to improvise his way through his real feelings. But his heart was painted in too many colours, his blank mask was gone, and he felt watched by the many stars around him, especially the one shining in front of him. He was left speechless.

It’s on times like these that acting revealed itself to be much easier. So he had no choice but to hug Hwanwoong.

The other reciprocated the embrace, patting Youngjo’s head, willing to give him all the time he needed. Though, truth was, he had no idea of how long it had been since he had sat down on that table under that night sky, which still had remnants of blue and purple when they began, now gone to give way to their own colours.

“I don’t want this to stay under the moonlight”, Youngjo confessed, hugging Hwanwoong even closer, afraid each syllable would take him farther away from his reach.

“So you understood?”, Hwanwoong asked, sinking into the comfort of the other’s wide shoulders. It was impressive how they wouldn’t stop being so touchy now, that being key to their way of communicating.

“I’m sorry, Woongie... I should’ve been-“

Hwanwoong sealed Youngjo’s lips shut with a hurried kiss before he could finish the sentence. He felt a tear land on his hand which held the other’s saddened face.

“Don’t apologize for our story”, he said, cleaning the other’s cheeks. “I think it was the most thrill I had in all of this time surviving college”.

“Really?”, Youngjo cleaned his own tears, feeling embarrassed for having turned so vulnerable, though it’s what theatre is all about.

“Yeah! It’s my fault I didn’t come to terms with my feelings sooner”, the youngest explained, playing with Youngjo’s hand out of shyness. “Well, our interactions were mostly playing pretend, so I could never be sure of anything.”

“I just didn’t want you to think I was using acting to take advantage of you”, Youngjo said, opening his hand so Hwanwoong could trace each line of his palm.

“Turns out you were using acting as an excuse to hide your feelings, lover boy”, the other replied.

“Time is up guys, let’s get back to the room”, they heard from the glass door of the balcony. Youngjo sighed, trying to fix Hwanwoong’s hair, but not complying with the idea of going back inside the room. Not when each second that passed meant that he had to stand not being with him for a whole week. He hadn’t even realized how much he was needy of him until he thought of not having him around.

“I don’t want to go. Let’s just get out of here”, he said, with phrases that seemed totally fitting of a cheesy romance musical.

“What about your role? You cannot lose this one!”, Hwanwoong asked, fixing Youngjo’s clothes in return.

“I don’t care if I lose my role. I got you instead”, he answered with the conviction of a heroic main character.

“You didn’t just...”, Hwanwoong cringed at those words so hard he let out some weird squeals. It was his fault for pulling a Juliet and falling in love with a hopeless Romeo kind of guy.

“I’m serious. We only have this time left before we say goodbye and go on holiday. I don’t want to waste it”, Youngjo explained, holding Hwanwoong’s hands.

“Then you wait outside. I’ll solve things with the teacher”, Hwanwoong decided, hopping off the table and hoping no one would find out what they were really doing from his sudden sloppy appearance.

Youngjo left the building silently and waited for Hwanwoong at their usual place: the stairs beside the broken streetlight. But, interestingly enough, after flickering for so many nights, threatening to die out, it started shining bright in its golden glory.

A lightbulb turned on over Youngjo’s head, literally and figuratively. Seeing Hwanwoong bring their things as he ran from the building with a naïve smiley face of success, he remembered he had one last thing to solve before they had to depart.

“The teacher told you to get better soon. And also told me to get better at lying, but here we are”, Hwanwoong said, handing Youngjo his bag.

“Thank you”, he replied, looking for something inside his bag. “So... I was planning to try to use this to confess to you today, but you were busy, and then... well...”

“You didn’t expect to end up in an intense make out session. For the acting, _of course_ ”, Hwanwoong completed with some laughs and struggling to believe that was exactly what they did.

“Yeah… and since we won’t be around next week, I thought this could keep you company at home”, he said, showing a CD box filled with stickers and scribbles, and a disk inside, with his favourite jazz songs, making Hwanwoong open his eyes in surprise. “I don’t know… do you like jazz?”

“Are… are you pulling a Barry Benson pickup line on me?”, Hwanwoong laughed, accepting the gift.

“It’s… just a very unfortunate coincidence…”, Youngjo sighed and giggled, trying to hide his face. He could picture Seoho with his shit-eating grin laughing at him.

“Well, I do like jazz, especially when you recommend it”, Hwanwoong admitted. “And, lucky you, I also like you.”

That last part made the oldest laugh in embarrassment, throwing his head back. Looking back at Hwanwoong, he looked so adorable with the firm confidence in that he said something actually meaningful for once, that Youngjo couldn’t help but give him a kiss on the forehead, obviously a bait for another hug in that cold night.

“I love you. So much”, Youngjo said, leaving pecks on the top of the other’s head while Hwanwoong once again melted in the older’s warmth. “More than I can even understand myself.”

Hwanwoong looked up to Youngjo’s eyes. Never did that intimidating gaze look as soft as it did on that moment. A moment of self-awareness, in which being at the university campus in a starry night with no one around but Kim _fuckboy_ Youngjo felt _just_ meant to be.

Without the annoyance of light flickers, they once again exchanged a kiss, one finally filled with the awareness they were doing nothing out of boundaries by genuinely showing the love they had for each other, with no masks or filters. Just them. Hairs messy, baggy and ugly clothes, dried sweat and the need for a bath.

But, most importantly, mutual love.

“I don’t want to go home anymore”, Hwanwoong complained, plopping his head on Youngjo’s shoulder, pouting, which made Youngjo’s heart beat faster with adorableness.

“Don’t you want to eat your mommy’s food?”, Youngjo asked, pinching Hwanwoong’s cheek with a tender smile.

“But I want to be with you, and I have no time for that. You’re evil!”, he replied, hitting the other’s chest.

“Oh, so now it’s my fault?”, the oldest complained at the unfairness, though he had blamed himself for it constantly.

“Evil, evil, evil!”, Hwanwoong repeated, as he kept hitting Youngjo, making a funny tantrum until Youngjo yelped in pain.

“But hey, didn’t you say you were going in the last train?”, Youngjo asked, as they started walking to their dorms, hand in hand.

“Yeah? In about 4 hours”, the other responded, enjoying how their hands were swinging back and forth. Oh, how long it had been since he felt his heart fluttering so much…

“Well, my mom won’t be at my door until then, so what do you think of hanging out at mine? Geonhak and Seoho already left. And we can take you to the station too, if you want”, Youngjo offered.

“I’d let you do whatever the hell you want”, Hwanwoong said, then jumping around excitedly, ending up on a piggyback ride in the middle of the sidewalk. Youngjo laughed and ran about, making Hwanwoong screech, thinking he’d drop him on the concrete.

“Woo-hoo~”, the neighbouring apartments could hear in the middle of the night. It was beautiful how their relationship had matured from so much tension to become a child-like free-spirited love story.

“Also”, Hwanwoong said from behind Youngjo’s back, “I don’t think I have a CD player, so you’ll have to send me a playlist with the jazz you claim I like.”

Youngjo sighed. CDs were much more meaningful and a material thing one could actually treasure, with care to not scratch the disk and pretty boxes that even worked as interior decoration, or to bring more meaning to a cute gift. That’s one thing he’d be willing to go back a decade just to relive. But there was no need for that, as that love made him feel so young, lively and true to himself.

No acting needed.

☆

☆

[On the next day]

“I’m busy. Call me next week”, Geonhak said to the phone, ending the call right after those words. But the phone was ringing again right after, not giving him a chance to rest.

“Geonhak! Don’t hang up!”, Youngjo pleaded from the other end of the line.

“What the hell do you want?”, the other asked, with no patience to have his holidays interrupted.

“Ok, so… how should I say this…”

“Hurry!”

“I’m dating Hwanwoong!”, Youngjo confessed, before his friend hung up on him again.

“Oh…”, Geonhak let out in a softer voice. “I knew you could do it, man! I just didn’t expect you to be so quick.”

“Neither did I. Should I tell Seoho now, or do you think he’s asleep?”, the oldest asked.

“Actually, just don’t tell him at all. Let’s see how long it’ll take him to find out”, Geonhak suggested, both laughing mischievously.

☆

[Seven days later]

“Explain”, Dongju shoved his phone with a photo of Hwanwoong and Youngjo being all cuddly on Woong’s face, just as he entered the dorm after coming back from the little vacation.

“Everyone’s talking about this. What are you hiding from us?”, Keonhee demanded an explanation.

“Nothing much, actually”, Hwanwoong stated, as Youngjo showed up behind him, helping his boyfriend bring his things up the stairs.

“Nothing much here!”, he said, waving his hand. “May I come in?”

The two interrogators were caught by surprise, both looking at each other before getting all embarrassed. Dongju had softened his convictions over time, and was genuinely happy his friend managed to get himself a nice caring man for a boyfriend. He’d make sure to treat him better from then on.

“No”, Dongju refused Youngjo’s request.

☆

[One month later]

“What the fuck?”, Seoho exclaimed, as he found Hwanwoong eating his green onion cereals while he played his game on his TV, on his sofa, inside his dorm. All of that while Youngjo was petting his hair. What the hell was all of that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope I didn't make you mad with all the tension, and that it was all rewarding in the end!  
> I hope I could make your day a little better!
> 
> In this house we love and appreciate comments!  
> [CC](https://curiouscat.qa/neviumi)


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